Stop Feeling Never Enough — Reprogram the Subconscious for Quiet Confidence

Do you struggle with anxiety, imposter syndrome, or feeling that no matter what you do, it’s never enough? What if I told you that you could retrain your subconscious mind to replace all that with confidence and calm in just 30 minutes a day simply by listening to a recording, whether you’re awake or asleep? I’m Greg Wanger, and this is the powerful introvert podcast that have been quiet professionals rise into leadership and earn what they deserve authentically. I’m here with Amanda Wilde. She’s CEO of the Mind Tracks app, which is something I use, and it’s designed to rewire your mind for confidence and quiet strength. In this episode, you’ll discover how to calm your nervous system, so anxiety doesn’t run the show, how to reprogram limiting beliefs, and rip and replace the idea that I’m not enough. And how to unlock your quiet magnetism, a presence that draws people to you without having to fake extraversion. Amanda, really great to have you on the show today. Glad to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Quick disclosure before we start, this episode isn’t sponsored. Someone paid me to do this, but I do use an affiliate link in the show notes, so I’ll earn commission if you use it, and no extra cost to you. Awesome. I’m here. I invited Amanda because I’m a fan of this app, and I actually saw you on a podcast, and I was just really impressed. You’re obviously a very powerful female leader, and I thought your story was pretty interesting, also, how you came across this app, and you’ve adopted the practices from the app as well. It’s interesting, too, because some of these things in the app, they don’t scream corporate, but I think they’re incredibly helpful for people who are in business in the working world in general. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it’s so interesting that you mentioned the corporate world, because I first came across these audios back when there was no app. They actually had them on CDs at this time, but they go back 40 years, actually, and they were making them on cassette tapes originally. And I was in the corporate world when I first learned about the audio, which we call paraliminals. And that para means beyond, and liminal means your conscious awareness. So paraliminals are audio programs that actually help you tap into your other than conscious resources. And I was also an executive when I was in the corporate world, and so I found it very helpful to have access to so many options from programs like anxiety-free, as well as all different options for even helping me sleep and get a good night’s rest because it can be very stressful sometimes in our corporate jobs. So the audio programs can work whether you’re an entrepreneur or you’re in the corporate world. They’re really suited no matter what your circumstances are. Before we dive in, I have to ask, do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Yes. So I consider myself an introvert who also is really comfortable around people, but I do have my maximum. I have the time where it is too much or enough, and I need to retreat into my quiet space again in order to fill my cup and reenergize. But probably people that are familiar with me might think that I am an extrovert simply because I do have quite an outgoing personality, but I like to recharge when I can be in my quiet space. I can have my chance to be alone, to read a good book, right, to just be back in that singular space. So more on the introvert inside for sure. Yeah. And so the inventor is Paul Sheely of the Parallel Eminal Technology. Is that right? Yep. Dr. Paul Sheely created the Parallel Eminal Technology. And so he is an expert in whole brain learning and processing. So he has his PhD and has done a lot of studying around how to maximize your subconscious mind and your other than conscious resources. So maybe briefly, could you describe what are some of the ways that this has helped you in your leadership and sounds like even beyond that just in your life? Yeah, absolutely. So it’s so interesting because you mentioned being able to rewire a lot of the beliefs that we hold, especially around enoughness. And when I was in the corporate world, I was very young. I was the youngest person on our executive leadership team. And I was helping the company go from 20 million when I first started to 14 years later. It was a billion dollar company. So being on the executive team was indeed quite stressful. It also required that I began to shift a lot of the beliefs that I had around what I could do, what was possible for me. And so being able to overcome those feelings of an imposter syndrome, being able to rewire the beliefs that I was enough that I could show up. I could be in the room with all of these other incredibly talented people that were on the executive team. Also, many years older, in most cases, than I was. And so it helped me to shift many of those beliefs and really bring forth a confidence that I didn’t know that I had. And also just really through those times of stress because there were many moments where we were trying to do really big things in the company, applying for a major line of credit that was multi-millions of dollars. And these kinds of things require lots of due diligence. So we were doing acquisitions and having to navigate lots of travel and very stressful situations. I found that many of the parallels in deep relaxation or euphoria, just so incredible at helping you access a much deeper state of relaxation and really help turn the brain off. Sometimes that can be a challenge, right? If we have a lot of things constantly chattering in our mind. And Paralleminals really helped me to just find that grounded confidence. Yeah, and that’s a great segue. The first big benefit I was talking about is really helping you calm the nervous system. And that was my experience with this deep relaxation parallelimal. It’s about 30 minutes and it’s remarkable to me the level of calm that I reach. There’s you go for a walk, calm, you sit back, watch a show, like this is just a completely other level. I know this objectively too because I have an aura ring and it tracks stress levels. And so it takes me completely into the deep restoration level just sitting through that. So this is something I think a lot of introverted leaders feel in situations like you described. It’s demanding a lot of you. There’s a lot of dynamic people in a room. It’s crisis situations where you have to keep going. There’s not necessarily that time to break. So when you do get a chance, this becomes super important. Could you talk a little bit more about how some of these tracks may be anxiety free or fearlessness? How are they helping calm the nervous system? Yeah, absolutely. And really quick before I jump into that, I just wanted to mention you reminded me of an absolutely fabulous parallelimal called positive relationships. And one of the most challenging things in any of our jobs can be how do we navigate working with other people who maybe we have to influence maybe, you know, we need to figure out how to help them better understand our cause that we’re trying to spearhead in the organization and positive relationships helps you navigate some of those really tricky dynamics that you might enter in your work life. So I just wanted to mention that one as well. And when it comes to anxiety free and fearlessness, these are two absolutely phenomenal paralleliminals that really help you better understand and reframe a lot of what you may be feeling around anxiety. So Paul Shealey often talks about that you don’t want anxiety to completely disappear. You need anxiety. You need fear in order to keep you safe in this life. And so they do serve an important purpose. But sometimes our brain gets really dialed in and we we need to just adjust that level at which we are feeling the anxiety. So we don’t want to eliminate it, but we maybe want to take it from a seven down to a four. And that’s where the paralleliminals actually walk through a combination of neuro linguistic programming, hypnosis. There’s a whole sink tones that are designed to enhance your brain waves. So that all of the work that is being done while you’re listening and again, you’re just relaxing. But in your brain, there are a lot of processing that is happening that is getting to your brain at a subconscious level because the paralleliminals utilize both parts of your brain. So you will hear a voice in one ear and that will be speaking to your right brain and you will be hearing a completely different track. And then there’s another voice in your other ear and it’s saying completely different words. So it can be very surprising to people at the beginning when they first begin to hear this dual voice technology. But that’s really what allows our conscious brain to relax. And also, of course, because there’s calming music and Paul’s voice is very relaxing. It helps us get into this state of relaxation where the nervous system can then truly take a breath, right? Begin to move into that restoration phase. And that’s what’s so powerful of all of these techniques that are combined into one audio program that are just so incredibly powerful. Even many times we think about meditation and it’s much more people are trying to clear their mind of thoughts or those kinds of things or a paralleliminal is you don’t have to work at it. At all, you simply put on your headphones and the benefits come to you even after one listening because it is so deeply relaxing. Yeah, you know, to go into it a little bit first, how do you use this? It’s on an app. You clear some space where you’re not going to be disturbed for maybe 20, 30 minutes. You can either sit or lay down and you need some stereo headphones, which are most are today. And so you get the isolation of the different voices in the different years. And at first, it starts out relaxing and then suddenly you enter this phase where there’s two voices at once and there’s almost like a little bit of anxiety. Like, should I be listening to this one or that one? But the theory is that we can’t really speak to our subconscious mind typically. So there’s an element of trust where like I trust this program is going to tell helpful things and good things to my subconscious mind, which I don’t always know what it’s thinking, but it’s really driving all these deeper beliefs and your feelings a lot of the time. But you can check on it because no matter whether it’s the left ear or the right ear, you can kind of check in and see, okay, this is what it’s telling my subconscious and just what it’s telling my conscious. These are good things, but then you can kind of relax and let it do its thing in a way. Yeah, it is so interesting when people first experience it because it’s just so unusual to hear two voices in your ears. And you might find that you at times are drawn to there is a part. One of the voices tends to talk more in imagery and story and metaphor. And that is really to help you access the creative side of your brain. And then the other voice is really speaking more to the logical and the concrete and the analytical parts of our brain. And so when you do listen to paralleliminal, you will notice that you kind of float in and out between the different ears because you will attach a line of something that’s being said, but it might be that that’s on one ear and then maybe you’ll hear something else that’s happening on another ear. And the key is really to allow yourself to just feel the experience versus trying to force anything to happen. And many times people will say, well, I fall asleep. I’m so deeply relaxed. And it feels like you are sleeping, but you are in such a deep state of relaxation that what is really interesting as well as when Paul and his voice begin to count you up in the paralleliminal at the very end. Many times when you hear Paul start to say, okay, and one, and now you’re returning to your state of being, your brain actually wakes up and you just come to essentially out of this very deeply relaxed state of being. And so it is interesting how you aren’t fully asleep because you can very quickly become awake and conscious again and go back to your regular life while those benefits are still there. And you’re able to keep that deep sense of grounded confidence that you start to feel once you’re in that really deeply relaxed state. Yeah, and I should add, there’s a 10-minute version of the deeper relaxation which often can fit in working from home during the day. And it is like a remarkable deep dive. It’s like a dive into the deep end of the pool really fast and super refreshing. So we’ve touched on deep calm. I think all of us can use that. So that’s a benefit. But so the second big benefit is reprogramming limiting beliefs. How does that function? Yes, many times we have patterns that are operating in our other than conscious minds. And so these are patterns, things that we started to believe about ourselves, about others and about the world when we were growing up because we are trying to figure out our way in the world, you know, in those early years. And so sometimes we pick up beliefs that may not be helpful as we continue to mature and grow. And so it can be challenging as anyone who has tried to use pure will or motivation or discipline to try to change our behaviors. It can be very challenging at times because we can find ourselves slipping back into our old patterns. And so when we can utilize a technology like the Paraliminals, it allows us to relax at such a deep state that then we can, like you said, sometimes you’re not sure what the words are saying to your mind. But the words are very affirming so that you can choose an intention for a listening session. Perhaps you say to yourself, I would like to prepare for an upcoming networking event where I know I may have to put more of my energy out there. And I know it’s more challenging because I don’t love being in those environments. You can set that learning intention for the session. And then with the Paraliminals that you choose, the words are structured in such a way that again, no matter what side of your brain is active, you really begin to take on those beliefs as your own because they’re happening at such a deep level. And another example that’s really helpful for people just to understand how it works is around because many people also have tried to maintain their health and a healthy weight. And one of the more tangible things that people can see and feel with Paraliminals is we also have an ideal weight Paraliminal. And the words that you are hearing are about making healthy choices about the foods that you eat. And then you begin to notice very quickly that it’s like, okay, I now I notice I am sitting down to the dinner table and I’m no longer feeling cold to have a second plate. The same kind of thing works when we’re talking about our emotional state and getting prepared for a networking event when we begin to hear affirming words to our subconscious mind around our capabilities and how we’re going to perceive that events and how we have the resources we need internally in order to show up. It allows the conscious mind to to settle and allows the true spirit of who we are and the best of ourselves to really show up in those circumstances if that makes sense. Yeah, we have defenses around these deeper beliefs and they’re kind of deeply held. So just take the example of eating. I might be sitting down to eat out of kind of a negative self-belief. Like, I’m no good. I’m not I’m not going to succeed. I’m going to fail or something like that. And so you’re eating to cover up. But if you try to just convince yourself, well, this is a logical, you know, this is unhealthy. That’s going at your conscious mind. And you’ll defend that and you’ll say, well, that’s ridiculous. I don’t think that way. And you won’t reach that deeper part of you that’s hurt or wounded. So it’s clever in this way that it engages both at the same time, but it’s engaging your conscious mind. And it’s giving you really reasonable reasons. People react to bland self-help. You’re wonderful. You’re great. You know, like your conscious mind is like, I’m not having it. That’s not how you fix these things. But it sits that part of your mind down and kind of reasons with it and says, hey, look, you know, here’s some reasons why you actually do well and you do try. And so your conscious mind is thinking okay, you know, that’s all right. Meanwhile, it’s talking to your subconscious and telling the subconscious what it really needs to hear. And that’s sort of the jujitsu move it’s doing in your brain. Yeah, absolutely. And the other part of that is really just your state of being when you do receive the messages and affirmations and all of the information that’s coming in from the paraliminals, you are at such a deeply relaxed state that you can now access different parts of your brain that may not be available when we are going about our regular day. And you know, we do have to have a lot of our defenses up to keep us safe in this world. And that may not look like it did many years ago, right? Where we’re keeping safe from, you know, lions, tigers, and bears or anything like that, right? It could simply be that, you know, there are circumstances we’re dealing with at work that are stressful. And so trying to force our way through life by just repeating out loud affirmations, that’s one element of a parallel, but because there are so many other elements with the neural linguistic programming and with the holosing and the binaural beats and the music that goes with it and the state, the hypnosis that you’re brought into this very deeply relaxed state, all of those pieces together really contribute to the ability to speak to that deeper part of your mind, that subconscious part of your mind. And to begin to accept new beliefs, that you decide, right? You decide what you want those beliefs to be. And then the words are really affirming those beliefs that you’re deciding and as you listen to a parallel minimal. Right. There’s this element of choice throughout all of it. You’re choosing what things you want to work on, whether it’s your attitude about money or your attitude about health or your personal relationships. That was an interesting youth thing you brought up because I read that as your intimate relationship, but that would be very valuable to work on things in your work context. Yeah, absolutely. And that’s what’s so interesting. Parallel minerals have so many uses. So, while someone may pick it up and feel like they want to use it to help calm their nervous system and to help with anxiety and fears that they may be having, that is fantastic. But there are also so many other parallel minerals when it comes to generating new behaviors and new beliefs, where you are going into this deep change work through the subconscious mind. And the ways that you can use parallel minerals to improve your life is truly endless. It’s up to what you can think of in areas in your life where you know you could make some changes that would really benefit you. Yeah, it’s not simply about these limiting beliefs. There’s also options for unlocking creativity. And I want to come back to the magnetism and influence because this show is really for aspiring quieter leaders. And so people who want influence, there’s one that I’ve used quite a bit about communication and what are all of your beliefs that you’re taking into situations, whether it’s public speaking or speaking to a group or like you and I speaking right now, what are these attitudes and you kind of allow some of these techniques from public speaking experts to kind of reach these deeper levels. And it’s, there is sort of a magic quality to it. You mentioned that after one lesson you can feel benefits and that’s been my experience. The certain ones you come back to is like, I want to work on this for a while. I want to work on my influence for a while. And so you can do that for a few weeks. This makes you daily or a few times a week. And then you can really look back and see, okay, well, I felt different in that meeting. I felt different in that speaking situation. Obviously, we’re talking a lot about this product, but I’m so interested in this because what it says about our brain and what our capabilities are. There’s so much that’s in the subconscious area that if you can access that, you can really dramatically change your life in all these ways. Yeah, Paul Shuley often talks about this, but that if you were to imagine, just where you are standing. And if then there are miles around you, I think he’s like, says, seven miles or something. Just the area that you’re standing on is your conscious mind. And all the other vastness of a seven mile radius is your subconscious mind. And so so much of how our brains work is really done at a subconscious level. And that’s by design. And it also can limit us at times in our life if we do not have any means by which to change that. Even self-talk, self-talk is another thing that many people struggle with. You know, you talk about imposter syndrome as well or like influence. You need to have positive self-talk to help you navigate through these situations in your life. And there are many parallels that you can use to help with self-talk and a kind of internal chatter that may be happening. And over time, you just begin to notice that you are speaking to yourself in a much kinder voice. And you can also, what’s really cool you’re talking about, picking an intention. You can pick one intention and you can use multiple parallels to help you with a single intention because many of them can work on the same problem, but from different angles. And so it’s good to test out and see what’s really working for you because different parallels have different messages that may be something that really hits an area. Like you said, that you had previous wounding. And so it’s good to try a mix and see what really resonates. Yeah, I really love the point you made about self-talk because that’s really the primary reason why I started listening to that. And you know, I’m pretty successful in my career. Wonderful family life have all these things and persistent negative self-talk that seem very resistant to anything. And it’s like, if I have to have this dialogue, it might as well be beneficial dialogue. All these things that my mind are saying aren’t serving me. So what can I do about it? I was like, well, let’s try this. Let’s get after that. So it’s almost like you’re delegating because you don’t have control over your subconscious mind, but it is something that you can choose in your conscious mind to try to help them out there down there in the subconscious. Yeah, absolutely. And it’s just so interesting because it really doesn’t have to be forced. Ray, we always talk about how the parallels are work, even if you’re sleeping. And that’s really part of the beauty of that. Yeah, because you then can allow these messages in without the resistance that your conscious mind would regularly bring up. Because if you’re already struggling with negative self-talk and a lot of this sort of internal chatter, your mind, your conscious mind is not going to allow those additional thoughts. Right? You could practice all the positive affirmations that you want. And those are great. But when you pair them with all of these other elements, it just allows you to go much deeper, much faster and get the results that people have often said you have after one listening session. I feel amazing. And then when you learn after listening to paraliminals, that you can tap into that feeling much faster. So rather than taking a couple of days where you’re listening to a parallel mental a day, you can yourself because your brain has begun to shift and your brain and now in your nervous system know how to calm down. You can actually access those states of calm much faster than you may be previously would have been able to, which is really wonderful. Because if you find yourself, for example, struggling or getting stressed at work or finding that you’re very reactive or triggered by things that are happening with the practice of continuing to listen to the paraliminals over time, you become less reactive because your brain knows how to operate in these very calm states of being most of the time. And then that’s what allows you to have access to the better parts of yourself through your subconscious mind. Nice. And so let’s turn to the third benefit I mentioned at the outset. As an introverted leader, you want influence. You want charisma, but it has to be authentic. And so you’re not going to get that by aping extraversion, you know, being extra loud pretending to be someone you’re not. But a magnetism is absolutely available to you. A charisma, a presence in a room. So it seems like there are a couple of parallels that I’ve listened to, which I think have helped to enhance things that I was already kind of they’re part of my life. But I think it could benefit anyone who’s quieter in this direction. So one is that instantaneous personal magnetism, which is kind of an interesting story behind that one. Could you talk about that one? Yeah. Instantaneous personal magnetism is so fantastic. And I feel like it just helps you. And there’s a reason why it helps you tap into the incredible spark that we all have. And but allowing us to bring that into spaces where we’re interacting with other people. And it even can be a quiet personal magnetism right where people are drawn to you because you’re very interesting and you just have sort of a mystique about you. And what the parallel middle does at the beginning. So when you’re listening to it, it asks you to identify somebody that you have seen embody these qualities of personal magnetism. And so you start with your conscious mind identifying this person. And then throughout the parallel you are receiving messages about how to tap into this part of yourself. And again, we all have these parts, but sometimes it’s harder for us to access them, especially when we can feel stressed out. So when we’re able to relax, when we’re able to hear these messages. And when we have an idea of a person in our mind, we can then begin to take the qualities that person has and apply them to ourselves and begin to accept that those qualities are in us as well. And that we have the capability of bringing them out and calling them forth at any time when we need to access them. And so I really love the instantaneous personal magnetism parallel limit. If you have meetings that you’re attending where maybe, you know, if you’re in sales or if you have some presentation to do, it really just helps you turn up the best parts of you so that you show up. Even if that’s a quiet power, it really lets you connect it up because you get to decide again who that sort of role model is that you want to emulate. Yeah. And all this is very authentic. It’s really designed to draw out this part in a way that’s authentic to you. And so you’re not going to think about the most extroverted leader out there. If you’re an introvert, you’re going to think about a role model that you might like to embody, whether it’s maybe it’s Gandhi or someone like that. You just bring that person to mind. You see images or memories that you have. And then that will feel authentic to you because it’s truly in you. Yeah, absolutely. That’s what I like about it too. Because the words when you can listen and again, you’re not going to hear all of the words necessarily in the voice portion unless you’ve listened to it many, many times and then you start to know what the words are saying. But in the instantaneous personal magnetism, parallel, the words that are used really are such that depending on how you have stated your goal, those are the words that get shared back to you and will stand out to your subconscious mind. So whether that’s a big and bold present or a soft quiet power, the words really can affirm that whatever your intention is. Right. And for people who want to follow up on this, we’ll have a link in the show. But if people are listening, it’s mindtracks.com. How do you spell that? Yeah, it’s not. It’s not medics. So it is m-i-n-d-t-r-x.com. Also, as a leader, you had a very successful career as a leader and as an introvert. Do you have any words of advice you could give the audience who are aspiring quieter leaders? Yeah, I think it really goes back to this influence concept that you mentioned. And really early on in my career, I did not have any actual authority or power over people. And I decided that the most important thing I needed to work on was having power with people. And so learning how to expand my sphere of influence further beyond just my manager or my peers, I started to connect with others in the organization and figure out how I could help them. So I came in from a very selfless perspective of I truly did want to help in wherever I could. And I think having that sincere attitude of service allowed me to grow my level of influence. And so then when there are initiatives that I was in charge of as a leader, I was able to more successfully connect with other leaders and get them on board with my ideas because I had already been fostering the relationships and working with them to show that I really cared about them and their well-being. And so it’s just really important to recognize that we all can increase our sphere of influence. And it really isn’t that difficult to do, but it does require a little effort to connect with people sometimes at a deeper level than just, you know, the, hi, how are you that we tend to do? But when we’re able to act in service to others, we can show up in a way that it lets people really recognize that we are there for them. And then there are times that we need additional support. I find them much more willing to help facilitate things that I’m looking for and need to make my goals and achieve the outcomes that I need to in my job. I love that the spirit of service in leadership as a key ingredient to influence. I love that message. Thanks for sharing that. Absolutely. Thank for having me today. Yeah, thank you for being on the show. I really enjoyed our conversation. I hope listeners get a lot out of it. So yeah, thanks so much for being on the show. Thank you. All right. Let’s take a moment to recap what Amanda shared today. There’s a really empowering through line here for introverted leaders. Number one, you can calm your nervous system on demand. It’s not by forcing yourself to be confident, but by giving your brain a pathway to deep relaxation and restoration that changes the way that you show up at work. The number two, a lot of what we call imposter syndrome is really just the mind running old programs like I’m not enough or I don’t belong here. I have to prove myself always. And what I loved about this conversation is this idea that you can work with the subconscious, not against it. You’re shifting that self-talk that seems so intractable in a way that actually sticks. And number three, influence doesn’t require volume. Amanda’s take on quiet personal magnetism is so powerful. It’s really about a presence that’s authentic. And it naturally draws people to you because you’re being your clear grounded calm self. It’s not because you’re creating all this noise. It’s really about being your true self. I also want to touch on her closing point. Your influence grows when you’re leading from a place of service. This is when you’re investing in relationships, helping people to succeed, and you’re expanding your sphere of influence without any thought of calling in favors. If you want to explore mind tracks, I’ll put a link in the show notes. And as a disclosure, that link will be an affiliate link, which means I could earn a commission if you do use it. At no extra cost to you. If this episode resonates, share it with one quiet leader today who’s been battling anxiety self-doubt or negative self-talk. And make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss out on what’s coming next. I’m Greg Weinger. Keep leading with quiet confidence, and I’ll see you next time. Heating up, March Bandis is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there’s a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you’ve got to see for yourself. 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