The Only Real Cure for a Toxic Workplace
Desiree Goldie · Episode 7
Get Promoted Without Becoming Someone Else
Desiree Goldie is a talent executive and founder of Do Better Consulting, whose practice focuses on helping individual leaders build self-awareness, develop inclusive leadership styles, and take better care of themselves. Her central argument is that most workplace dysfunction traces back to undertrained, self-unaware managers — and that the cure starts with each leader doing genuine inward work before they can lead others effectively. For introverted leaders, her message is validating: some of the best leaders she has encountered are introverts, and authenticity is more important than performing extroversion.
If no one else remembers anything else from this call, self-care is my first.
Some of the best leaders I've ever met are actually introverts — really cerebral about how they think about things, and sometimes the most empathetic and authentic in the room.
Jump for you. Jump for your team, but also jump for you.
Please stop trying to be the smartest person in the room — if I am a student forever, that makes me the best version of myself for my team.
Key Stories
- The Bad Performance Review: Desiree shares how she received crushing feedback after delivering a performance review so poorly that the employee eventually left — she had been trying to help them but instead drove them away, a lesson no book could have taught her.
- The Engineer Shock: Working with tech professionals who moved into management, Desiree found they were genuinely shocked by the suggestion that self-care mattered — engineers who worked harder than anyone and never thought to protect their own energy.
- The Generational Shift: Desiree contrasts Gen X (her generation) who “put up with it and worked harder,” with younger generations who are saying no to toxic cultures and job-hopping for alignment — and argues the younger generation has the right answer.
- Budget Season: A self-deprecating story about her own weakness (budgets) as an aspiring leader — and how knowing it in advance allowed her to prepare rather than be blindsided.
Techniques & Frameworks
- Self-Reflection as Leadership Foundation: Desiree’s core practice — encouraging leaders to sit in silence, ask who they want to be, and develop a personal leadership style before trying to lead others.
- “Why do you want to be a leader?” Question: Her opening diagnostic for aspiring leaders — the quality of the answer reveals whether they’ve thought through the full human cost of leadership beyond compensation.
- Reading as Leadership Investment: The recommendation to carve out 30 minutes per week — the way people block gym time — for books, podcasts, and self-education tailored to one’s current stage.
- Values Alignment as Job-Match Criteria: A framework for evaluating whether a current or prospective employer is actually a fit based on personal values, not just role or compensation.
- Mentorship as Cultural Change: Desiree’s belief that leaders have a responsibility to mentor those coming up, and that one-leader-at-a-time change is the most reliable path to cultural transformation.
- Getting Sun / Digital Detox: Her practical self-care prescription — get outside, put the phone in a safe for an hour, create non-digital interaction.