From Steamrolling to Supportive — How Extroverted Leaders Can Champion Introverts
Holly Golobowski (leadership trainer, co-facilitator at Leader Skills) · Episode 9
Speak Up in Meetings with Quiet Authority
Holly Golobowski is a self-described high-D, high-I extrovert who went from nearly getting fired to becoming a leadership trainer at Leader Skills — and who credits the experience of being told she was steamrolling a colleague with changing how she leads entirely. This episode is unusual in that it's told primarily from the extrovert's perspective, offering introverts a rare inside view of why their voices go unheard: not out of malice, but out of genuine unawareness. The core message for introverted leaders is that they have more untapped influence than they realize — but they must be willing to name their needs and advocate for themselves, because no one else can see what's being lost.
We are very unaware — so please speak up, because people like me need to hear it.
The louder people in leadership roles aren't there because they're better — they're their own advocates. If you can speak up, you can be too.
You probably have more value to add than everyone in the room talking — because most of us are shooting from the hip.
Don't do it for yourself. Do it for the betterment of your company and your team.
Key Stories
- “Stop leading the witness”: Holly’s mentor Nan told her she was asking leading questions to a key introverted colleague and unknowingly signaling that his opinion was already decided. Once Holly stopped, she discovered ideas she never would have generated herself.
- “Hold on, let Laurie blend”: A company-wide norm that emerged organically after implementing DiSC — when an introverted leader needed processing time, the team learned to literally pause and say “give Laurie a minute to blend.” The phrase became a respected ritual, not a concession.
- Holly’s near-firing: She describes the six-month coaching intervention with Nan that saved her management career, framing herself as “student zero” for what became the Leader Skills curriculum.
- The father comparison: Holly’s father is nearly identical to her in personality, except introverted — people read Holly as warm and bubbly, and her father as stuck-up. Same person, different energy in a room, wildly different social perception.
Techniques & Frameworks
- DiSC profile as shared language: Having every team member take the DiSC assessment creates a common vocabulary for behavioral differences — and practically enables introverts to pull up a colleague’s profile before a difficult conversation to tailor their approach.
- Find a cheerleader before the meeting: Identify an extroverted ally who can vouch for your idea in the room — someone you trust not to run with it — so you’re not standing alone when the idea surfaces.
- “Let me speak” expectation-setting: Prime the room before you begin: “Give me five to ten minutes and bear with me — I’m an introvert and want to get this out clearly.” Setting expectations before speaking dramatically changes how the silence is read.
- Safe word / blend signal: Create a personal or team-level phrase that signals “I need processing time” — a structured permission structure for introverts to slow the room without apologizing.
- “What’s the worst that could happen?”: Holly’s personal reframe for action-blocking fear — drill down on the fear through questions until you reach the actual root, which is often more manageable than the surface anxiety.